It’s been almost two years since my stroke, and while my brain has been permanently damaged, one thing has not—my sense of humor. Countless people have marveled at how my personality has stayed intact, despite being paralyzed on my left side.
Well, first of all, humor has always been my preferred coping mechanism, and this situation is no different. I’ve also spent the last few months processing the part I played in this stroke.
There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t rehash conversations with my doctors from the past. They warned me that my blood pressure was high, but I felt normal. They warned me that I was in danger of a stroke, but I never knew anyone who had one and had no clue how devastating it could be. Their sense of urgency was lost on me, and I’m paying the price now.
In the past year, I’ve been sharing videos of my progress in therapy. People say, “You inspire me!” “You’re such a warrior.” While I’m glad they are watching and responding, I also feel embarrassed by their praise because I’m partially responsible for this stroke.
Do you feel sorry for the psychos who go to Spain to run with the bulls? Of course not! Those people purposely put themselves in harm’s way. It’s been said, “If you fuck with the bull, you get the horn.” Well, I ignored my doctors, and I got the horn!
The purpose of this update isn’t to dissuade you from offering me encouragement. I appreciate every word. Instead, I hope you’ll watch my videos to see what the aftermath of a stroke can look like. What you do with that information is up to you. If I could turn back time, I would have been more diligent about lifestyle choices and consistency with my blood pressure medication. There is no doubt in my mind that alcohol was a factor in this stroke.
Going forward, I hope my experience will open your eyes and you’ll use it to keep yourself healthy. Instead of boosting my morale online, I’d much rather hear how my stroke is helping you avoid a stroke of your own. That would be the greatest praise I could get!